Ramadan Reflections: Hardships Are Hidden Blessings
The pre-Ramadan enthusiasm I felt
within me was unmatched compared any other point in time throughout the year. In
prior months before this spiritual season, I regretfully admit to losing sight
of many of my priorities and principals that I used to hold so dear. Thus, as
Ramadan drew near, my spiritual preparations began. By mid-Sha’ban, my goals
had already been set, my schedule was arranged and my heart was desperately
anticipating for the blessed month of Ramadan to arrive. However, despite all
of the extensive and precise planning on my part, I had come to understand that
Allah is Al-Khaliq, the best of planners.
One week prior to Ramadan, I was
diagnosed with adult onset diabetes. Type 1 diabetes is a chronic disease in
which cells within the patient’s pancreas fail to produce insulin, a hormone
necessary to transport glucose into the body’s cells. Without insulin, the body
is unable to use glucose for energy. Thus, diabetics recreate this process by
injecting insulin into their bodies several times throughout the day. It is
essential to continually monitor one’s blood sugar in order to maintain a
precise, stable glucose levels.
Unfamiliar with the disease at the
time of the diagnosis, my first concern had little to do with the my health,
but rather whether or not I would be able to fast in the upcoming Ramadan.
However, my doctors and family did not see this as a priority considering the
disease had been developing within me for several months and their sole concern
was to immediately begin treatment. Because I had been readily awaiting Ramadan
for the past few months, this news was heartbreaking. I was absolutely crushed.
Completely terrified by this entire
process, I quickly fell into somewhat of a depressive state for the days
following the diagnosis. I was extremely frustrated by this whole situation and
frankly, angry that this happened to me. The thought that consistently occupied
my mind day and night was, “of all weeks to get diagnosed with diabetes, it had to be the week before Ramadan.” Even
my doctors agreed that it was somewhat of an unfortunate coincidence. But
nothing is ever a coincidence.
The first week of the diagnoses was
the most disheartening, agonizing week of my life. All of my excitement for the
upcoming Ramadan had instantly faded as I became so extremely occupied with
doctors appointments and coping with the side-affects of the new medication. I
was told that because I was recently diagnosed, fasting was not an option since
regulating your blood sugar is a learning process that comes with time.
Discouraged, I lost hope in having the much-anticipated “Ramadan experience.”
Although I was feeling weak in my iman,
I attended the first Jummah before Ramadan. As expected, the khateeb gave a
beautiful khutbah about fasting. He explained how there is no act of worship
comparable to this because it is the one act of worship done solely for the
sake of Allah Subhana wata’la. I felt as if I was hearing the concept of fasting
for the very first time in my life because for me, it was the very first time
in my life where it was indefinite that I would be able to fast. My eyes filled
with tears as this thought became more of a reality. Last Ramadan I never would
have considered the possibility that only one year later, I would be uncertain
about my ability to partake in one of the most special parts of Ramadan.
I feel like I listened to the
khutbah in a different light than everyone else that day. For others, it may
have been an annual reminder about the blessings and beauty of the upcoming
fasts. For me, however, it was an eye opening reality that forced me to apprehend
my lifelong ungratefulness.
As I cried to my best friend that
night, I complained that this was the absolute worst time for this to happen.
Being extremely wise, she stopped me mid-sentence and said, “perhaps this is
the best time.” She continued to explain that yes, a significant part of
Ramadan is about fasting, but it is also about developing and strengthening your
relationship with Allah Subhana wata’la. The beauty of the situation is that,
while I may be experiencing one of the most difficult times in my life, I am
doing so in the most blessed month out of the entire year where His divine
mercy is shown everywhere. In that instant, I realized what an amazing blessing
I was given. I realized that this couldn’t have happened at a better time.
“Verily, with hardship comes ease”.
(94:6)
As only a few days
remained before the commencing of Ramadan, I met with my doctor and reluctantly
asked her again about the possibility of fasting. I spoke from the heart and
explained that one’s health is a priority in Islam, but it would mean the world
to me if we could figure out a way to safely go about fasting, although we are
still in the beginning stages of treatment. To my surprise, she was extremely
understanding and willing to try any sort of changes in medication to make it
work. Currently, we are almost one week into Ramadan and I feel so unbelievably
blessed to be fasting and experiencing this month as I would ordinarily.
However, I have come into this month with a new frame of mind. I am truly
thankful for how easy my situation has become, and for every other functioning
part of my body that I previously tended to neglect.
We are all faced with
trials that come in different forms and at different times in our lives. Theses
trials have the ability to make or break us. It all depends on your attitude
and your willingness to put your trust in Allah Subhana wata’la. I originally
considered my diagnosis and it’s timing an absolute disaster. However, with a
change in perspective, I am able to view this situation as one of the greatest
gifts that Allah Subhana wata’la could have given to me. Not only is this hardship
a means of attaining closeness to Him, it is also happening at the most
beautiful, blessed moment in time.
Many Allah Subhana
wata’la make us successful in our journey back to Him this Ramadan. Let us
never neglect to be eternally grateful for every imperceptible cell that
seamlessly functions so efficiently and beautifully within our bodies. Ameen.
No comments:
Post a Comment